21 May 2011

Where to Turn

Ever since I moved out of the house, my grandmother has been my confidant. Whenever I had anything bothering me or just wanted to feel a little less alone, I would call her and be restored to sanity. In the months since she passed, I've been searching for someone who will mean even a fraction as much to me as she...but I've been found wanting.
I know grief is a process filled with oddities like fevered dreams and sudden joy from memories, and I don't want to do without either. I think they will strengthen my person, but I am truly desperate for some of grandma's advice and love. Though I know part of her is always with me, it's not the same.