The Lady Is A Tramp

Blue Diamond Cab 421

As per the unusual state of life and prophecy (I suppose), I got into cab 421 today. The driver's name I cannot remember or maybe I never asked. Moments after almost getting hit by a bus while running across the street to a cab that stopped but couldn't turn around, I close the door and the driver asks - rather tells me I'm a singer. Strange I thought, but giggled the way I do when nervous and said yes. I told him a bit about the opera, and he tells me a bit about his intuition.
He says he normally can tell what someone does or what their sign is based upon first appearance. I ask him my sign and he fumbles..."Libra" he finally calls out. I giggle a bit and tell him he's wrong and that I'm a Virgo born on the cusp (of Leo and Virgo).
He proceeds then to tell me my life - some of it vague, some not. I was sort of astounded at the accuracy of my  history, and how on point things with the future sounded as well. I've never gone to a psychic...my family is quite religious blah, blah, blah...and they think it's evil...though I don't practice, I've always been scared to see one for fear that I, like King Saul, may learn of my own death (from battle I plan on fighting in tomorrow)...This experience, however, was quite different from what I expected. And for the price of a cab ride from Lincoln Park to River North, I gained some insight into what I'm going through right now and what is soon to come. Who knows if the future is accurate, but it was worth the ride.

Four Months Into the Year of the Detox

Both times I was on the El today, the train was delayed...at 4:30 in the morning on the way to work, I was incredibly peeved - could barely breathe because of agitation ...well that and running to the train. And this afternoon on the way home, we were told there was to be a two minute delay. I wasn't really in a hurry to get anywhere but in the back of my mind was keeping time. Exactly two minutes later the train began once again on it's course, and I thought to myself how long that moment felt. The minutes were rife with incomplete thoughts that seemed to bounce about as if I were in the midst of some deep philosophical argument that dealt with our concept of time. 

Once home - or nearly so - I remembered that this is the year of my detox. The first month was food. The second two were from shopping. It's been two weeks into April which was supposed to be 30 days of yoga and meditation, but I've been incredibly lax. I think that I need to remember to quiet my mind sometimes....there's no need to get agitated or be in a rush to get home. And while I think an active mind is preferable, sometimes we do too much. We plan so much...and are vile when those plans are foiled. We expect the world and sometimes push ourselves too hard to obtain it when maybe we need to just let it be. I'm not saying that I don't want to be goal driven, but instead of filling my time off with needless shite maybe I need to learn be content to do nothing.

I think this is the hardest concept so far this year, but I'm totally recommitting to 30+ days of yoga/meditation. I think it may do me good. 

If anyone has detox ideas for June through December, let me know. I'm open to nearly anything (minus sex and swearing...I don't know if I can live without either).

Cheers

Hunger

I fail to be who I thought I was...and I'm learning to live with that. I've done things I could have never imagined doing, but I don't regret it. To regret would be to take away the value of individual circumstances...and that's what makes life - a collection of small moments.

Still.

The judgement.

The disapproval.

The reproach.

They all become difficult to handle. I feel sort of alone right now...though Love's for sale and never a lack of suitors.

I desire something more...

But it terrifies me.